Anger, rage or aggression. We all know them. It is impossible not to, because they are part of our nature and normal mental development. An even bigger paradox is how unacceptable they are in today’s society. The fear of condemnation may force us to suppress them, which is just a step towards illness or outbursts of rage. But how do you manage your anger and control it properly?
Anger and rage are emotions that are separated by the degree of intensity with which we experience them. Aggression is then described more as an instinct, an internal energy that is innate. Its manifestations are largely influenced by the environment in which we are born in.
In order to learn to control our anger, it is first good to find out what is causing it. Learn to ask yourself. If your inner voice resists and does not want to respond, seek the help of a specialist, coach or psychotherapist. You will certainly make the inner voice speak with simple but powerful questions. The causes of your anger will ultimately be your helper in directing it.
If you already know your triggers, you may have reduced the feeling of inner tension that accompanies anger. But how do we manifest it without having to suffocate it in ourselves, and at the same time not harm ourselves or anyone else? Anger, like any other emotion, is a short-term affair. So the knowledge that it will not last forever and will soon subside can help you.
Suppressing your anger increases the risk that sooner or later you will lose control and it will show up as an explosion. And if you manage to suffocate it long enough, it will most likely cause damage to your health. The recommendation is to let your anger run, but in a form that will bring relief without harming anyone else, including you. Emotional coaches or psychotherapists will help you set up your own rituals to set the rules for your anger.
Outbursts of anger are probably the result of accumulated frustration or stress. Tendency to seizures may be genetic as well as the influence of the environment in which we live or where we lived as children. If you are already in a vicious circle of uncontrollable rage, slow down and go back in time to where it started. Talk to someone who can help you find your way around, whether it’s a loved one or an online therapist.
The level of anger in children is also influenced by both genetics and the environment (family). If tantrums are common, family therapy is commonly recommended. It works comprehensively, ideally with all family members.
If you feel that your aggression is causing you problems and all too often you are controlled by anger and rage, psychotherapy is a way for you to change. First and foremost, it will help you shed light on what your anger is for and what its role is in your life (education). It shows you the connection between the reasons why this style of behavior prevails over another (understanding). And it will guide you to other ways of dealing with stressful situations. They can also include strengthening self-awareness, communication skills or assertiveness training.
“When did I first realize that I had to start doing something about my anger? The night my girlfriend packed her suitcase and left. Honestly, I was not surprised. I’ve never been calm, but I haven’t needed even a clever excuse to turn on her in the last few days. The therapist was the exact opposite of me, kind and understanding. Thanks to her, I was able to decipher the real reasons for my anger. My problem is that whenever something upsets me or I just have too much, I vent it to my loved ones. I’m not doing it on purpose, it’s just like that. But now things are changing. That is why I would like to support others who are experiencing something similar – with anger, all you have to do is learn to work it properly. If I’m succeeding, you will too.”