The magic of self-confidence is that it does not allow us to be a victim of our lives, but forces us to live it consciously, with love for others and for ourselves. “But before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure you’re not surrounded by idiots.” (Sigmund Freud)
Self-confidence means being self-aware. Not only that I live (breathe, walk, work), but also who I am (what are my hobbies, what can spoil my mood, what is my talent). All this knowledge, which we gather about ourselves during our lives, then helps us to orient ourselves in it more easily, to build harmonious relationships and fundamentally contribute to the quality of our lives.
Self-confidence is shaped all your life, it has its dynamics. Its cornerstones are laid in early childhood, the first manifestations of the ego are often associated with defiance in the form of a vigorous “No!” The family and the immediate environment are key to the development of a healthy self-confident person. From them also stems the way in which a person copes with what has yet to be encountered in life. Unfortunately, not everyone grows up in a harmonious environment. So how do you help yourself obtain a healthy self-confidence?
Having a lack of self-confidence right now doesn’t mean you can’t have enough in the foreseeable future, and it doesn’t mean you can’t immediately start working on it. You may often think of others, you may be trying to accommodate them, you may be accommodating, you may be working hard, or you may be trying to complete your education. But it is itching somewhere. You feel exploited in relationships, work is nice, but in addition to money, it also brings you loneliness, exhaustion, and studying as if it weren’t even for you. And maybe it is not. The first step to gaining confidence is to build a relationship with yourself. As you would do with a close person you love, you like to listen to, advise, support and help when needed.
You can start by setting aside an hour a day just for yourself. Become your priority and urgent duty. You can do anything, but you don’t have to do anything. Say all the questions that are in your head. The answers may come right away or they may take time. But both are fine. The important thing is that you have just started an internal dialogue. The ideal partner in this process is a psychotherapist. He or she will help you focus exactly on what is related to your self-esteem in your life, and at the same time he or shewill be a kind guide to your self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is often associated with impaired ability to perceive one’s boundaries. As a result, you let others cross them. The cause can also be subconscious fears, which carry with them the fear of rejection, if we stand against what our surroundings want from us. Here, too, psychotherapy is a welcomed help. Above all, psychodynamic directions willingly work with relationships. The therapist will be the one to set up a mirror for you, so you will be able to look behind the curtain and understand how your relationships actually work.
Just arranging an appointment and devoting time to yourself is the first step to self-confidence. This shows yourself that you are not on the sidelines and that you are important to yourself. Online psychotherapy can be a good choice for those who are struggling with shyness or are not sure if the therapy is for them. Connecting with an expert is fast and does not require travel. Psychotherapy will help you understand the connection between what bothers you in life and your self-confidence. At the same time, it allows you to get closer to yourself, to be rid of the expectations that you or your surroundings have placed on you. This will unleash your potential.
“I came to therapy to deal with the partner crisis. I invested a lot in our relationship, I even felt that it couldn’t be more. I planned my free time according to him, I learned to play tennis to survive not only as a friend but also as a partner, I even went to bed two hours later to fall asleep together. It wasn’t until therapy that I realized that I had lost myself. I felt that in order for someone to like me, I had to be perfect for them. For me, it meant 100% adjustment. Psychotherapy has shown me that I don’t have to choose between myself and my partner. Finding out was a huge relief. And I wish it to everyone from the bottom of my heart!”