5 ways to combat low self-esteem

What is self-esteem? Not the same as self-esteem or self-confidence. These depend on external factors and the ways in which society defines success. A sense of worth, on the other hand, stems from within us and concerns how we perceive ourselves and whether we believe we have unquestionable dignity and are beings worthy of love, support and existence.

You may struggle with low self-esteem, but on any given day have high self-esteem because you managed to pass a difficult test or you feel good about your body.

Can you struggle with a sense of low value?

You may be struggling with low self-esteem if:

• You feel that you don’t know how to do anything
• You don’t trust yourself, often question your thoughts and intuition
• You have a problem with decision-making
• You constantly compare yourself to others
• You feel uncomfortable with accepting compliments
• You feel that the comfort of others is more important
• You try to please others, to please them
• You feel that you have no or very little control over your life
• You have a problem with setting and maintaining boundaries
• You’re afraid of failure
• You focus on your mistakes or “shortcomings”
• You feel resentment or even hatred toward yourself

Reasons for feeling low

We derive self-esteem from childhood. Violent, overly strict or neglectful caregivers, bullying or alienation from peers, lack of support and love – such difficult and painful experiences shape us in significant ways. Our environment teaches us that we don’t mean much.

Of course, this is not true. Each of us counts, we are born with dignity and the right to a decent, good life. Each of us has value, although our head and the world may sometimes claim otherwise.

Feelings of low value can also be exacerbated in adulthood, thanks to trauma, chronic stress or toxic relationships. Low self-esteem is often associated with psychological problems. They can both contribute to them and be a consequence of them. These include, but are not limited to:

• Depression
• Anxiety disorders
• Eating disorders
• Addictions

And let’s not forget the influence of social media and the reality around us – many industries purposely induce a sense of low self-worth and self-esteem in order to make money – for example, the cosmetic or weight-loss product industry.

Remember: you are ok and enough *as* you are! You have the right to feel good about yourself and believe that you have value and dignity.

How you can help yourself when feeling low

Although it is not easy to unlearn negative thoughts about ourselves and believe that we have the same value as others, the effort is undeniably worth it. A low sense of self-worth makes it significantly more difficult to enjoy life, take care of oneself or take on new challenges. It is possible that the problem is more complex and deep-rooted, and the support of a specialist will be necessary. However, you can help yourself build your sense of worth every day.

• Question negative thinking

Perhaps you, too, have that unpleasant voice in your head that reassures you that you are not fit for anything or no one likes you. To increase your sense of self-worth, it is necessary to challenge these intrusive thoughts. Try to notice when they occur and instead think about what you like about yourself or what you know how to do. If you find it difficult to find such positives, create a list – for example, with the help of people close to you – and hang it in a place visible to you. You can look to it whenever you need to remind yourself that you are a valuable, respectable and competent person.

• Take care of yourself

This can prove to be quite a challenge, especially if there is a belief in you that you don’t deserve it. You may not believe it (yet), but you are worth* the love, the support, the fair treatment, the chance to realize your potential.

Take care to eat healthy, tasty food, get enough sleep, give yourself pleasures – taking care of yourself may cause you some resistance. You may have to learn it from scratch – especially if your caregivers did not surround you with proper care as a child. Don’t be discouraged and use the technique of small steps, or even baby steps.

• Consider therapy

Therapy, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy, can be extremely effective in combating low self-esteem.

As we have already mentioned, low self-esteem can be associated with the experience of trauma and/or diseases such as depression or anxiety disorders. Especially if it stems from a difficult childhood and you have struggled with it for many years, you may need the help of a therapist.

Art therapy, among other things, can also be effective in this regard. Many exercises you can do yourself* at home.

• Set boundaries

Being an assertive person and setting clear boundaries does not mean you are selfish. It’s a way of showing respect to yourself and taking care of yourself. You deserve it as much as anyone else.

Don’t be afraid that saying “no” will spoilyour relationships with loved ones. If this is the case, it means that such a relationship may not be healthy for you. Supportive, healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and respect for boundaries.

• Create a support network

That’s right – healthy relationships with others are an extremely important factor for our mental health and well-being in general. People who respect us, our boundaries and opinions, support and don’t judge can teach us to believe in our own worth, dignity and potential. Nurture those relationships that are good for you and don’t be afraid to ask for help.