Even teenage children can have psychological problems. How to solve them?

But that doesn't have to be the case. Just being here shows what a great parent you are. Let's take a look at how to know when to start addressing your children's mental health issues and, more importantly, how to help them.

Psychological problems in children are on the rise

In 2023, the National Institute of Mental Health began monitoring the mental health of primary school students. The results surprised everyone. It found that as many as 40% of ninth graders showed signs of moderate to severe depression and 30% showed signs of moderate to severe anxiety.

But children also have to face other challenges today that we, as parents, have not yet known so much. There is pressure on them through social networks, and environmental anxiety and fear of war are becoming more and more common.

Yes, upbringing has a big impact, but there are more pieces to the mental health puzzle for children. So it doesn't mean you've failed anywhere.

Mental changes at puberty can be distressing

You may be wondering if puberty is to blame. The period of adolescence really is a challenge for mental health. Kids are trying to figure themselves out and define themselves. But this is not at all easy, because their feelings and moods change quite quickly and frequently due to hormones.

To do this, they are in a special position – somewhere between adulthood and childhood. They still depend on you and have to obey different authorities. On the other hand, they are already being asked to think maturely and often feel (mentally) self-sufficient. It's a kind of role conflict that can bring difficulties.

Therefore, during puberty these changes are fine:

• Mood changes – if they go away again after a short time.
• The desire to respect privacy – more space and alone time.
• Experimenting with identity – changes in appearance, interests or friends.
• Conflicts with parents – occasional arguments and disagreements are perfectly fine.

We know that as parents, this is not an easy time for you. Sometimes it can feel like you have a really emotionally unstable child at home. However, as long as the tantrums or crying doesn't come completely unpredictably and the child can overcome the emotional episode, it's probably okay. Try to avoid labeling and commenting negatively on your child's changing moods.

How to know if your child has mental health problems?

When is it no longer okay and should you start addressing mental health? Every child is different, so we can't easily generalise. You know your child best, so trust your own gut feeling. If you feel that something is wrong, that they are struggling or behaving differently all of a sudden, you are probably right.

What to look out for?

• The child withdraws into itself – avoids contact with you and its peers. There is no desire to communicate with anyone, a child cannot establish any relationship in a team.
• Avoids conversations on specific common topics (e.g. school, friends) – it could mean he/she's got a problem in that area.
• Child is sad, without energy, without interest and enthusiasm – not enjoying what he/she used to.
• Often feel fear and apprehension – out of proportion to the situation. For example, fear of the future, fear of places with more people, etc.
• Sleeping badly for a long time – has bad dreams, can't sleep, wakes up during the night, sleepwalks.
• Having trouble with food – suddenly doesn't want to eat, avoids food, refuses to eat with you.
• Child is more nervous than it used to be – in general, or in front of a specific situation (e.g. a gym class that he or she has previously mastered).
• You observe physical symptoms – large weight fluctuations, frequent abdominal pain with no apparent cause, hair loss, etc.
• Being aggressive. – child gets into fights or even starts them, is rude to the authorities or even to you.
• Child is physically hurting himself/herself – or talks about it.
• Grades at school suddenly got worse – unable to concentrate, can't learn.
• Can't adapt to change – requires exaggerated order and stereotype. Even small changes upset very much.

How to start a conversation about mental health?

Even if you're not sure if it's something more serious, it's always a good idea to discuss it with your child. Teach your child to talk about his/her feelings so that he/she is encouraged to ask for help when they need it.

But how to open such a topic in this fragile period so that the teenager listens to you and does not take it as an attack?

First, let's look at three things to avoid so that it doesn't close in front of you:

1. Try not to preach – avoid moralizing or criticizing.
2. Don't minimize a child's feelings – even though the  problems may seem like trivial matters.
3. Don't push – don't ask for immediate answers. Children sometimes need time to process and express their feelings. Just let them know you are there for them when they are ready to talk about it.

Show your interest, concern and desire to help. Choose a good time to talk when the child is calm and it is just the two of you. For example, you might start with these sentences.

• "You don't seem to be feeling well lately. Do you want to talk about it? I'd like to help you."
• "When I was your age, I sometimes (fill in what you think was bothering him/her, e.g. felt terribly lonely). Do you ever feel like that?"
• "I've noticed that lately (fill in what you stopped doing, e.g. not going out with the girls). Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?"

Already teenage children can go to psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is a great tool for dealing with anxiety, depression, coping with big emotions, as well as bullying, self-harm or eating disorders. Youth therapists specialize in helping children ages 13-18. Sessions are confidential, so the therapist won't tell you as a parent what he or she has discussed with the child (unless it is threatening to the child). This too might persuade the child to give therapy a chance.

At Hedepy, you can join the session online, so there's no need to travel anywhere.

If you decide to suggest therapy, our article 5 tips to help your loved one start therapy will definitely help you.