In childhood, we made life-and-death friendships on the playground in a matter of minutes, but in adulthood it’s a bit harder. Walking around with new people all the time and trying to find a way to start a conversation is almost a nightmare, especially for introverts.
While you can’t quite do it without it, we’ve got plenty of practical tips to help you get there. Sooner or later, you’ll meet someone you really get along with.
Need a little motivation first? According to the data, friendship affects our physical health and longevity. Scientists have linked it to lower heart pressure, inflammation or diabetes. Friendship is even a key factor in feeling happy, according to a long-term Harvard study. Family is extremely important, but it’s not good to fixate on it alone.
It’s perfectly normal for friendships to fall apart after the age of 25. We start families, build careers and have less and less free time. It doesn’t mean you’re “weird” at all, and you certainly don’t need to beat yourself up. On average, adults have 3-5 close friends. As introverts, you may have fewer. If it makes you feel good, there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you’re feeling lonely, it’s time to move on to new friendships. We’ll show you how.
Do you feel like you keep meeting the same people? Try going to some of these places:
You don’t have to let everyone you approach into your life right away. But the more people you meet, the more likely you are to really click with someone. Plus, you can meet people in completely unexpected situations. So don’t be afraid to say yes even to invitations that don’t make you jump for joy. You never know who you’ll bump into.
Keep in mind that it takes time to build deeper friendships. Scientists have calculated that it takes about 164 hours of time together to make a friend.
You already know where to go to meet new people. But maybe you feel like no one really wants to talk to you. Because sometimes we unconsciously send signals that make us seem unapproachable. First impressions are important.
It’s not about changing at all, but sticking to a few psychological tips that will make people feel comfortable in your company.
For non-verbal communication, that’ll do. Now let’s look at how to strike up a conversation to keep it going for more than a few sentences:
You can find even more tips like this in the interesting book How to Win Friends and Influence People, which has been a bestseller for decades.
You already see each other at events, in hobby clubs or even on a course. But how to invite him or her somewhere so that it looks natural and you don’t feel silly? Try this:
If you are an introvert, this is a difficult task. We completely understand. But if you’re eager to make new friends, you need to meet new people and sometimes even start talking first.
You may feel like it’s really beyond you, and although you feel lonely, you feel anxious around people. Are you shaking your head? Then think about therapy with a professional. Social anxiety is a topic that is difficult to tackle on your own. Anyone can make friends. So can you.
At Hedepy, we offer therapy online, comfortably from home. All you have to do is fill out the test, based on which we will recommend the three most suitable therapists. You don’t have to be alone.
Finally, we would like to tell you the last and most important thing. It is completely natural to experience a wave of emotions in a difficult situation. Every crisis has its beginning, but it also has its end. Yours too. Therefore, if you are at least considering it even a tiny bit, ask for the help of a psychologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, or coach. Don’t face it alone; you can find help – At Hedepy.cz, there are more than 30 therapists. You can choose someone who is best suited to your needs, and make an appointment for the next day. You can then connect with the therapist online, from the comfort of your own home.
Žaneta Krčilová, Co-founder of Hedepy