Parenting is one of the most beautiful and at the same time most challenging tasks in life. When looking for our parenting style, we often start from how we had it at home when we were little. At best, we repeat what we liked, at worst we know how we don’t want to do it. Psychotherapy can help us find the optimal parental style.
“Oh, Parenting” is the title of a book by Laura Markham, who, unlike other authors, writes about how to change our own behavior as parents and how to develop our children in the direction we desire. Reading a book like this is a good start on the path to responsible parenting, but it’s not always enough. It is okay to go to a psychologist and consult with him on how to proceed in specific educational situations.
Every child needs love. The more we show love to our child, the more we strengthen trust between us and deepen our relationship. More care, interest and attention means less punishments and conflicts in childhood and later in life. Look for and discover situations in which you and your loved ones feel well when you have a great time as a family and consciously create more such opportunities.
There can be problems in every family that disrupt relationships between individual family members. The most common problems in the family include quarrels between parents potentially ending in their breakup or a divorce, domestic violence, neglect, problems with siblings, financial distress, a difficult relationship with a parent’s new partner and more. It is important to address these problems, in a timely manner to minimize the negative consequences that can cause long-term problems.
Every problem is solvable. It is crucial not to overlook the problem, but rather to name it as soon as possible and solve it together as a family. Family psychotherapy can be useful in this regard, where individual family members (who are affected by the problem) or the whole family work with a specialist for improvement. However, even as an individual, I can seek professional help. Although I can’t change other family members, I can influence myself, how I experience what happens in the family, how I react to it, and how I can move towards a healthier and happier way of functioning within the family.
Sooner or later, we may stop understanding our children and problems may arise. It is natural to first think that something has gone wrong, that our child is not what we thought he or she was or that we neglected something. It is easy to be angry with the child and want correction. Nevertheless, it is necessary to look at problems with children as a problem of the whole family system. Children do not misbehave on purpose and often it is just that they do not know how to react better to a specific situation. The key to successfully coping with the problem is the trust between the child and the parent and the bond of their relationship.
Online psychotherapy can be especially useful in the beginning, when we notice that family relationships are somehow complicating or cooling down. Meeting an expert can give us new perspectives on the situation, offer possible solutions and inspire us to communicate our relationships with other family members.
“I was completely exhausted. That’s not how I imagined motherhood – not sleeping due to night breastfeeding, nerves upset because of my constantly crying son, cleaning up a pile of diapers and dishes and having no time for myself. The therapist helped me find out that I have very high demands for myself and I do not allow myself to rest. I had to learn to find time to relax, even when there was a mess at home, and not push myself to be the perfect mother. I already know that it is enough to be “just” a good mother. “