Grief

What is grief?

Grief is an individual's reaction to loss. Emotionally, we experience melancholy, which can range from sadness to grief or despair. In contrast, our thoughts are in a state of disorder and confusion. Memories of a lost object appear vividly. Some people express their grief by sobbing, while others withdraw inside themselves, with the exception of violent outbursts. Mourning may be followed by sleep disturbances, a change in appetite, or a temporary escape via drink or heightened spirituality. Everyone has a unique experience with sorrow; what unites us is that it will immobilize our life for a time and have an impact on our experiences, conduct, and thinking.

What are the stages of grief?

Often, people that are mourning are helped by knowing that mourning has its laws. It takes place in phases, it has its beginning and an end. It thus offers the hope that if we go through the crisis without denying it, it will end one day and we can enter a new phase of life as more mature and conscious personalities. Mourning is most often described in the sequence of the following phases:

• denial (This cannot be true.)
• anger (How could this happen? Who is to blame?)
• bargaining (Maybe they were wrong, there is no further examination.)
• depression (Nothing anymore has any value.)
• andreconciliation (I accept whatever comes.)

How to cope with the death of a loved one?

The most significant loss in our lives is the death of a loved one, this is an irreversible loss. Dealing with it does not mean forgetting it, but processing it and allowing yourself to experience a happy future. If at all possible, use the support of your family, loved ones and friends. There is also psychotherapy or crisis intervention to help you experience the often very intense onslaught of emotions. Today often neglected rituals can be helpful as well. Saying goodbye to a loved on can positively help reconciliation.

How can I help another cope with the death of a loved one?

Death is a difficult topic for many reasons, especially with someone who has just been struck in life, it can paralyze us. We look for suitable words, we try to calm down, sometimes at any cost. However, comforting with well-meaning advice often doesn’t help much. It turns out that you will provide much more support to the mourner if you are just close or ready to listen. But it’s not even just that, being an emotional vampire is difficult in itself. In addition, the subject of death can open up our own fears and traumas. Often even loved ones close to grieving people need space for themselves. Psychotherapy offers such a space, allowing you to face your own questions in a safe environment and get the necessary support for yourself.

How long does mourning last? How long is it normal to feel grief after losing a loved one?

Grief belongs to the loss of a loved one. At first, it may seem like it will last forever and never end. It’s intensity can stabilize and increase at different points in the year (e.g., Christmas, anniversaries, or birthdays).  Mourning can take a year, or but even four. It is said that the time of mourning depends on the intensity of the relationship we had with the deceased. If you feel that you are still unable to return to life after a long period of time, it may be a good idea to talk to an expert. Theey will not only listen to you, but also help you to “indulge” in what you may have pushed away in fear of pain.

How can psychotherapy help me with grief?

Psychotherapy is a space where you can resolve emotions that you would not otherwise have a chance to resolve in everyday life, such as intense longing for the deceased, anger at the whole world or self-pity. You will not be alone in any of this. It can also bring relief by working on the way we communicate with friends or colleagues about our loss when it comes up. This can also be a source of stress for the mourner. The goal should be to accept what happened and return to a happy life.