7 signs of a toxic friendship and how to end it

7 signs of a toxic friendship and how to end it

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Recognizing a toxic friendship may be difficult. It quite often begins well, and we feel as if we understand each other. Perhaps we grew up together. However, over time, it begins to deteriorate and we no longer feel comfortable with the other person. A toxic friendship is not good for our mental health. It can seriously undermine our self-esteem, drain our energy, and manipulate us into doing things we don’t want to do. Often so subtly that we look for the source elsewhere. So, how do you know if a friend is toxic, if her friendship is phony, and, most importantly, how do you end such a friendship peacefully when it is no longer viable?

7 signs of a toxic friendship

Let’s see if your friendship is truly toxic. Do you see him or her in any of these scenarios?

1. They do not respect your opinions or boundaries

They believe that their point of view is the only one that is correct. They will persuade you about them and make excuses for your beliefs. Or else they won’t let you finish. They’ll give you life advice you don’t want to hear and question your actions if they don’t match their own.

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2. They often criticize you

In a healthy friendship, neither person criticizes nor helps the other. Instead of saying, “_The interview didn’t work out again?_” “_I told you to edit your CV and wear something different,” he’ll say, “_and it’ll definitely work out next time. _Can I help in getting ready? Why don’t you go buy something for yourself to boost your confidence, and we can go over your resume together to fine-tune it?_” They will always speak to you in a way that does not harm you and will never attempt to change you.

3. They are using emotional blackmail on you

Maybe you don’t always have time to respond quickly, and after a while you get a reprimand in the form of “Are you ignoring me again?” or “Well, thanks for the answer,” and so on. Emotional blackmail occurs when the other person instills feelings of guilt or fear in you.

4. They are in competition with you

They can’t bear the thought of falling behind you once you’ve accomplished something or purchased something. They need to fix it right away. In the worst-case scenario, it may also affect counterparts. When someone likes you, he or she begins flirting with you or mocking you. Yes, it sounds like something out of a high school movie, but it happens to adults as well.

5. They are unavailable when you need it.

If they have a problem, they contact you immediately to discuss it or assist with a solution. However, they minimize your problems and attempt to distract you from them. They won’t let you speak, or they’ll tell you they don’t have time (but they’ll come up with a good excuse).

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 6. They do not wish you well

A healthy dose of envy doesn’t hurt, but true friends always wish for their successes and celebrate them together. Even with toxic friends, it may appear that way at first glance, but notice if after a while you don’t hear a sentence like: “I wouldn’t even want a promotion.” I’m at ease in our office, but you’re going to be upset now.”

7. They are constantly asking for favors but will not do anything for you

You simply keep giving but receiving nothing in return. In friendship, balance is essential. You will assist with the move one time, and he or she will assist the next. When they know you need them, true friends don’t make plans for the day. And it isn’t required.

When is it worth fighting for friendship?

Toxic behavior does not always imply that the person intends to harm you. Perhaps they’re just treating you the way they’ve seen it done before at home. It appears to them to be normal.

We may also believe that a person is toxic because they are constantly negative. They see the world in black and white, and they constantly complain or gossip. We can’t feel good in their presence, after all. But that doesn’t mean they’re evil or that they don’t care about us. They may become trapped in a circle of old beliefs and stereotypes from which they cannot escape.

If you value friendship, avoid approaching the negative wave and instead try to inspire with your positive attitude. Inquire as to why he/she is having these thoughts, what motivates him/her to act in this manner, and what is bothering him/her. Try, for example, to recommend professional assistance if it is worthwhile. Coaching is excellent for changing one’s mindset, and therapy is excellent for more in-depth work with trauma.

How to End a Toxic Friendship

Have you tried it and the assistance provided did not work? Nobody can be forced to change. If you have decided to end your friendship, honesty is always the best option. Perhaps all is not lost, and if you explain exactly what is bothering you, they will understand and try to change. Sometimes even we don’t know our own limits, so we hold on for too long.

But don’t blame yourself for the breakup. Long-term toxic relationships can have a negative impact on our mental and physical health. You must defend yourself against them. These four steps will help you say goodbye to your friend with a clear conscience:

  1. Identify toxic behaviors – take a step back and consider what specific behaviors are toxic and harmful to you. It will assist you in comprehending why you need to end the friendship and explaining it to your friend.
  2. Talk about it – be honest about what specific behavior is bothering you and why you no longer want to tolerate it. Instead of blaming, express your own emotions. Set clear boundaries that your friend must follow if they want to stay friends with you.
  3. Keep your distance for a while to allow both of you to process your emotions and reflect on the entire conversation.
  4. Give a second chance or call it quits – If the conversation did not go well, the obvious solution is to end things. However, it is possible that your friend was unaware of what was causing you and wishes to work on himself. The decision to give friendship another chance is entirely up to you.

It is not easy to deal with a toxic friendship. You don’t have to be alone if you’re afraid to break up with him/her, have tried and failed, or are struggling to cope with the loss of a friendship. Therapy can assist you in overcoming adversity, discovering why you attract similar people into your life, and establishing healthy boundaries. To improve your other relationships.

You can conveniently join the therapy in Hedepy online. Our team includes over 100 certified therapists. All you have to do is complete a short test, and we will recommend the three best options for you.

Don’t face it alone

Finally, we would like to tell you the last and most important thing. It is completely natural to experience a wave of emotions in a difficult situation. Every crisis has its beginning, but it also has its end. Yours too. Therefore, if you are at least considering it even a tiny bit, ask for the help of a psychologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, or coach. Don’t face it alone; you can find help – At Hedepy.cz, there are more than 30 therapists. You can choose someone who is best suited to your needs, and make an appointment for the next day. You can then connect with the therapist online, from the comfort of your own home.

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