Let's not put up with body shaming. How to react to it?

What is body shaming

Body shaming is any criticism and ridiculing aimed at your physical appearance. And it doesn't matter where it comes from.

Kids give themselves mocking nicknames, your uncle at Christmas comments on how you've "fixed yourself" over the year, the media comments on how moms are getting back in shape, and body shaming is a daily occurrence on social media where we hide behind our phone screens. It's as if posting a simple photo from a trip is asking for an appreciation of how we look.

Body shaming can relate to your weight, body proportions, breast shape, height, teeth or even skin problems. Whether they are too much or too little according to others.

This is also body shaming

Have you ever had someone at home or at work comment on how much you eat? Or what you are wearing? You felt bad and your self-esteem dropped a little bit again. Even body shaming can be this inconspicuous. And it's all the more insidious. It can look like this:

• “Are you really gonna eat all this? Shouldn't you hold back a little?"
• "You really want to take this on? You don't have the body for it."
• "You really don't have the breasts for this dress, you can't wear that."
• "You'd really rather not have dessert."
• "You'd better not show your legs."
• "You won't find a man with hair this short."
• "You're using those muscles to make up for the fact that you haven't grown much, huh?"

Statements like this have a huge impact on our mental health. Around 65% of people with eating disorders say that bullying has contributed to their mental health problems. Yet a full one-third of young people have experienced body shaming first-hand.

How to react to body shaming?

The only way is to set firm boundaries. Make it clear to the other person that you are not comfortable with their comments and will not tolerate them. We know it's not easy. You probably don't want to get into a heated confrontation. Or you can't think of anything useful to say at the moment.

That's why we've prepared 8 assertive but polite responses that you can keep in mind for next time.

1. "Please respect my choices about what I wear/eat."
2. "I'm fine the way I am, and I don't need your opinion."
3. "I don't want you to comment on my looks or my weight."
4. "It's my choice and I don't need any comments."
5. "I feel comfortable in these clothes and that's the most important thing for me."
6. "I know best what my body needs, so please don't comment."
7. "Why do you think it's necessary to comment on my appearance/my food?"
8. "These comments hurt me. Please stop them."

Against body shaming with a body positivity approach

Can you imagine accepting and loving your body as it is? Regardless of its shape, size or appearance. This is exactly what the body positivity approach is all about, which was created as a reaction to unrealistic beauty ideals.

We say "healthy" body positivity because promoting obesity and unhealthy body image can also go too far. Loving your body also means taking care of it to keep it healthy. But however one looks, one should not be judged for it.

Your body is doing you a huge favor. It makes it possible for you to walk, laugh with friends, hug your family or have children. For that alone, it deserves your admiration and your love.

You never know if the thinness of those you look up to is due to eating problems or stress. So let's compliment each other for who we are and what we can do, rather than our physical appearance.

Do you have wounds on your soul too?

If you have to face body shaming yourself, it has probably left a pretty bad scar on your soul.

What's the first thing you think of when you look at your body?

And when was the last time you felt good in your body?

If these questions bring you negative feelings, we would love to help you. As a first step to healing your relationship with yourself, we recommend our article Practical way to self-love: how to really love yourself.

But you don't have to be alone. Psychotherapy can help you build self-love and set boundaries. At Hedepy, you can choose from more than 10 certified therapists and join therapy conveniently online.

Take a 5-minute test and we will recommend the three most suitable therapists for you.