The constant arguments, the accusations, the stuffiness. Wondering what you’re doing wrong. Admitting you’re in a toxic relationship isn’t easy, but it can leave you deeply traumatized. Come find out how to recognize a toxic relationship, if it’s still possible to save it, and how to leave when it’s time.
We could replace the word toxic with unhealthy or dysfunctional. A toxic relationship carries with it a great deal of negative emotions, conflict, and destructive behavior patterns such as manipulation, humiliation, competition, and control. The negative moments outweigh the positive ones and the relationship seems to drain your energy. You cannot fully relax next to your partner. A toxic relationship can shake your self-worth and leave you deeply traumatized.
Psychologist and writer Dr. In her book Toxic People, Lillian Glass describes a toxic relationship as “any relationship in which people do not support each other, where there is conflict and one tries to undermine the other, where there is competition, where there is disrespect and a lack of cohesion.”
When someone is toxic at work, we know it quite easily. But when it comes to a partner, love comes into play and it blurs everything.
Signs of a toxic relationship can look like this:
But you know what the problem is? That after years of being in a toxic relationship, you get used to that kind of behavior easily. You don’t really see it anymore and it becomes normal to you.
Do you already know you are in a toxic relationship, but would you like to heal it? Sometimes it is possible, but the effort must be mutual. Unfortunately, you cannot really change your partner yourself. You both need to admit that you have a problem and work on the relationship together. Admit your mistakes, be really honest with yourself and ideally also get professional help. Couples therapy will give you an unbiased perspective and help you find harmony in your relationship. In Hedepy, you can choose from our therapists and join the session conveniently online.
Only open communication will tell you if the relationship can be saved or if it’s time to leave. It will be necessary to have a heart-to-heart talk.
But try not to blame your partner. Talk about your own feelings and needs. Think about what specific behavior hurts you and you don’t want to like it anymore. For example, think of specific situations that you can mention to make it clear what you mean.
And if the talk doesn’t go well despite all the effort? If your partner blames you, belittles your feelings or doesn’t even want to talk to you, then you have a clear sign. It hurts, but a toxic relationship would really destroy you mentally over time.
But please don’t let yourself be convinced that you’re just lying to yourself or that it’s your fault. This is just one of the manipulative techniques (gaslighting). Your feelings matter, whether they seem right and reasonable to someone else or not. You deserve respect and love.
We would very much like to give you a universal guide on how to get out of a toxic relationship. But every relationship is different and has many variables. The truth is that leaving is often difficult, because in a toxic relationship there is usually only one party to break up.
But these are the basic steps that are good to take, no matter what happens:
Leaving a toxic relationship can be difficult and leave scars on the soul. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help so that you have real support during such a difficult time. The therapist will help you sort out your thoughts and find the strength to take an important step in life. He will be there for you to get through this rough time.
Take a 5-minute test, based on which we will recommend the three most suitable therapists to you. You can have your first online session in just a few days.
Finally, we would like to tell you the last and most important thing. It is completely natural to experience a wave of emotions in a difficult situation. Every crisis has its beginning, but it also has its end. Yours too. Therefore, if you are at least considering it even a tiny bit, ask for the help of a psychologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, or coach. Don’t face it alone; you can find help – At Hedepy.cz, there are more than 30 therapists. You can choose someone who is best suited to your needs, and make an appointment for the next day. You can then connect with the therapist online, from the comfort of your own home.
Žaneta Krčilová, Co-founder of Hedepy